When we act the way we think we’re expected to act


A while ago, I stumbled upon an article that discussed how many enjoy planning their vacation more than they enjoy the actual vacation. People love to imagine how it will be, how they will look, what they will feel like. They build up an idea about who they want to be and hope their vacation will allow them to be just that. 

I remembered this article when talking to one of the ladies who booked a consulting session with me.

When I first read her story, I didn’t quite understand why she wanted to talk to me. She seemed brave and like someone who just made things happen. However, she was only able to reach all these successes as long as she was living in Mumbai. Once she moved back to Germany, she looked for a normal job and did what she thought was the right thing to do. She lived up to her idea of what it meant to be a proper German. And she felt trapped. 

It made me realize how moving places might be the easiest way to break out of our mental grid. How being in a place where we don’t know anyone and that has a certain reputation makes it easier to become a part of that tribe.

Take Berlin; people come here to party. It makes them feel like they're more fun. People who go to Paris might feel more in love because their mental model of Paris asks them to feel that way. 

It seems hard to change who we are in a place where we have fixed beliefs and set rituals. A place where we act the way we think we are supposed to. 

Liz Wellington, a dear online friend, recommended The Artist’s Way to me some time ago. In the book, the author recommends a few techniques to live a more creative life. Things such as writing three handwritten morning pages and taking oneself on an artist date each and every week. I wonder if one can manage to break out of one’s self-imposed beliefs if one commits to these techniques as recommended. 

Do you have any experiences with Cameron’s teachings? Does your home time make you feel like you need to conform in any way? I’d love to hear from you! 

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Monika Kanokova